When Tranmere randomly beat New Zealand 7-0 on Valentine’s Day

In 1992, Valentine’s Day fell on a Friday, offering ample opportunity for a late-night movie or meal on the town. For a hardy band of 3,771, however, Prenton Park beckoned to watch Tranmere Rovers under the floodlights.

That audacious act, doubtlessly earning a one-way ticket to the doghouse, was exacerbated by the peculiar opposition – New Zealand, a literal international team, washing ashore in Birkenhead.

That Tranmere won, 7-0, lent even more absurdity to a bizarre occasion that still echoes through the annals.

The Kiwis were touring Britain in preparation for their 1994 World Cup qualifying campaign. St Albans were beaten, 3-1, in the maiden match, before a joust with Celtic in Glasgow. (1) Bhoys’ executives tried to play the friendly behind closed doors, with kick-off at 2pm on a Tuesday, only for more than 7,000 fans to turn up, regardless. Regret was likely the prevailing emotion, however, as the semi-professionals of New Zealand won, 1-0, against a solid Celtic side featuring Charlie Nicholas, Tony Cascarino and Tony Mowbray. (2) (3)

Crazily, the All-Whites played Southend, in Essex, the following day, travelling more than 400 miles between games and fielding much the same lineup in both contests. Unsurprisingly, the Shrimpers beat the tired Kiwis, 4-2, in relative obscurity. The tourists then enjoyed a five-day break before defeating Brighton, 2-0, on 10 February 1992. (1)

At that point, the Valentine’s rendezvous in Birkenhead was hastily arranged. After a 52-year hiatus, Tranmere were then enjoying their first season back in the second division under maverick manager Johnny King. Rovers faced a 10-day layoff between games, having drew, 1-1, with Sunderland on 11 February. That gap, coupled with the need to find playing time for prolific striker Ian Muir as he returned from knee ligament damage, led Tranmere to seek a friendly. Incredibly, Dynamo Moscow offered to visit Wirral while preparing for their March-November season, but Rovers bosses selected New Zealand instead. (4) (5)

Bizarrely, the All-Whites packed only their eponymous kit, which clashed – obviously – with Tranmere’s signature strip. Ever the dutiful hosts, Rovers wore their blue alternative kit as a makeshift solution, with King selecting his strongest team – headlined by Muir and fellow goal machine John Aldridge – as a sign of respect. (6)

For their part, New Zealand fielded a mix of raw semi-pros orbiting two standout stars: defender Chris Zoricich, then of Leyton Orient, and Wynton Rufer, a Werder Bremen striker who enjoyed a successful career in Switzerland and represented the Kiwis at the 1982 World Cup. (1) Allegedly, only three members of the New Zealand squad were under six foot tall, and their lumbering malaise was ripe for exploitation by the slick pass-and-move combinations that hallmarked King’s swashbuckling style.

To that end, Tranmere ran rings around their plodding opponents, who were dazed by the telekinetics of a well-oiled machine. In fairness, Rovers only led 2-0 at half-time, with a goal apiece for Aldridge and Muir – the two greatest goalscorers in Tranmere history combining for one of their rare moments of cohesion. King’s men added five further goals in the second half, though, with Aldridge notching three more, Muir adding one, and Graham Branch pitching in the other. (7) (8) All told, Rovers won, 7-0, with six of the goals coming from their star-crossed strike partnership. The All-Whites were outclassed by the Superwhites.

New Zealand were beaten by Sheffield United, Newcastle and Scunthorpe to round out their topsy-turvy tour, although they did beat Rufer’s Werder Bremen a few months later – burnishing Rovers’ rout with a little more panache. (1)

As for their 1994 World Cup qualifying campaign? Well, the Kiwis progressed from a preliminary group containing Fiji and Vanuatu, only to lose, 4-0, to Australia in a fateful Oceanian playoff.

Nevertheless, one player from the St Valentine’s Day massacre did appear at the US-hosted tournament: Aldridge’s infamous touchline tirade for the Republic of Ireland, featuring Jack Charlton, coming as a Tranmere player.

A few weeks after that, incidentally, Rovers beat another international team. Well, technically, at least, as King’s side demolished the Isle of Man, 4-0, in Douglas. Only 622 fans bothered to attend that duel, part of the Isle of Man Football Festival, a pre-season piss-up (er…tournament) won by King’s boozy galácticos. 

Such heady days are now long gone, of course, as Tranmere have slid back down the Football League pyramid in the ensuing three decades. New Zealand, meanwhile, have matured into a robust footballing nation. The Kiwis qualified for the 2010 World Cup, and they will journey to the US – land of Aldo f-bombs – this summer, having secured safe passage to the 2026 finals.

Whether Chris Wood and co. can be lured to Prenton Park for a preparatory friendly remains to be seen. Probably not, in all likelihood, as the march of modern football has destroyed such sentimental innocence.

Tranmere are playing today, though, if you really need a Valentine’s football fix. Crawley Town are the opposition in a bottom-half six-pointer.

Who said romance is dead?

Sources

1. Rec.Sport.Soccer Statistics Foundation. [Online] https://www.rsssf.org/intldetails/1992oth.html.

2. Faulds, David. The Celtic Star. [Online] February 14, 2022. https://thecelticstar.com/celtic-v-new-zealand-but-the-old-celtic-board-just-didnt-give-a-dag/.

3. Friends of Football NZ. [Online] February 4, 2025. https://www.friendsoffootballnz.com/2025/02/04/february-flashback-how-celtic-tried-to-keep-out-the-fans-when-they-played-all-whites/.

4. Ruwiki. [Online] https://ru.ruwiki.ru/wiki/%D0%A7%D0%B5%D0%BC%D0%BF%D0%B8%D0%BE%D0%BD%D0%B0%D1%82_%D0%A0%D0%BE%D1%81%D1%81%D0%B8%D0%B8_%D0%BF%D0%BE_%D1%84%D1%83%D1%82%D0%B1%D0%BE%D0%BB%D1%83_1992?utm.

5. Programme, Tranmere Rovers Official Matchday. Tranmere Rovers vs New Zealand. [Online] February 14, 1992.

6. FootballProgramme.com. [Online] https://footballprogramme.com/shop/select-a-football-team/t-football-teams/tranmere-rovers-football-programmes-memorabilia/tranmere-rovers-v-new-zealand-1992-friendly-match/.

7. Tranmere, Retro. TikTok. [Online] May 20, 2025. https://www.tiktok.com/@retrotranmere/video/7506592579933195538.

8. Muir, Ian and Davey, Stephen. Striking Back: The Autobiography. 2023.